Blurring the Lines: Work, Life, and Finding Balance

For most of my life, I expected to follow the usual 9-to-5 path: get a good job, show up, work eight or nine hours, then head home. It’s what public school seemed to prepare me for. But after getting married, a lot of my ideals started to shift. I didn’t want to work away from my family. I wanted the freedom to stop working at a moment’s notice. This change, along with some college friends’ influence, led me to start my own business after graduation.

It hasn’t been easy. I went from having a literal 30-minute commute separating work and home, to just five feet between my bed and my desk. So how do I manage that? How do I avoid letting work take over every waking hour?

How it started

Upon graduating college, I planned to work from home for a startup. But within the first week, I ran into some issues. I could have worked through them, but I needed income quickly — we had just taken on a car payment. (Yes, buying a new car right after college wasn’t ideal, but it was the decision we made.)

That situation forced me to pivot fast. I reached out to a few contacts and was lucky enough to land some freelance work.

After a few weeks of back-and-forth conversations with my wife, we decided it was time for me to officially start my own business. I could be a contractor for multiple clients instead of depending on a single job. It was less money than working for an established company, but it gave us flexibility — and more time together.

Separating was hard at first. For me, I would lose track of time and work longer than I wanted too. For my wife, who doesn’t work, treated it more like hanging out all the time.

How Things Changed

We had to make some adjustments — otherwise, I’d work nonstop, and my wife would feel like I was never fully present. After some honest conversations, we tried a few boundaries:

1. I work from when I wake up until 4 PM on normal days. After 4, I step away from my desk.
2. My wife spends part of the day outside of our shared room, so it doesn’t feel like I’m ignoring her while I work.

These changes didn’t fix everything overnight, but they helped us move in the right direction. Over time, we added more habits that helped us balance work and life.

• I got a second phone to keep work and personal life separate — one of the most helpful changes so far.
• I strictly stop working at 4 PM.
• I avoid working on weekends, as long as I’ve stayed on track during the week.
• I use separate browser profiles to keep work accounts and personal accounts distinct.

It’s not a perfect setup — my desk is still in our bedroom, and there are times when the boundaries blur. But one day, I hope to have a small shed or workspace outside the house so I can truly separate work and home. Until then, we do our best to mentally switch gears and protect what matters most.